DEFININg
JOURNEYs

Navigating life's defining journeys, together.

Sessions are virtual and can be covered under extended health benefits. Sliding scale available.

the support you deserve

Whether you’re navigating life after cancer, a life-altering health diagnosis, infertility, building your family through surrogacy, or facing loss and uncertainty, you’re not alone.

⋒ Counselling & Therapy⋒

We offer individual counselling and psychotherapy for those navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, oncofertility, postpartum and parenthood transitions, cancer, palliative journeys, grief and loss, chronic pain, PTSD, and other life-altering health conditions and diagnoses.

Our approach blends clinical expertise with lived experience, offering a compassionate, trauma-informed space to explore what often feels unspoken, overwhelming, or misunderstood.

Whether you’re coping with uncertainty, adjusting to a diagnosis, processing the emotional weight of fertility and health journeys, or finding your footing in parenthood and life after trauma, this is a space to feel seen, supported, and safe.

We offer personalized, one-on-one counselling to help INTENDED PARENTS navigate every step of their surrogacy process within Canada . From finding a match, to understanding ethical, medical, legal, financial, and emotional considerations, we’re here to guide you with clarity and care on your journey from a-z.

We also offer personalized one-on-one support for SURROGATES to ensure they feel informed, supported, and empowered, because everyone on this journey deserves ethical, compassionate care. We prioritize education, advocacy, and space to ask questions, share concerns, and feel truly valued.

With both lived experience and professional insight, our surrogacy support is honest, transparent, grounded, compassionate, and tailored to your unique journey. You don’t have to go through this alone. Your journey is unique, your support should be too.

⋒ surrogacy support ⋒

EXPLORE THERAPY SERVICES

GET SURROGACY COUNSELLING

WANT MORE INFORMATION? BOOK A FREE DISCOVERY CALL

MEET THE FOUNDER OF DEFINING JOURNEYS

Hi, I’m Marisa Bernardo!

BSW, RSW, Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist, Surrogacy Specialist

I specialize in supporting individuals and families navigating infertility, oncofertility, surrogacy, reproductive loss, postpartum and parenthood transitions, grief, trauma, palliative journeys, and other life-altering health experiences.

As a registered social worker, psychotherapist, intended mother through surrogacy, and cancer survivor, I bring both professional training and lived experience into every session and support space.

My work blends counselling, education, and practical guidance, offering compassionate support to those facing the emotional complexities of fertility, family building, health, loss,

and life transitions - so you don’t have to navigate it alone.

MORE ABOUT ME

Surrogacy Autumn Picnic Meetup - Toronto

Join us for a relaxed afternoon of connection, community, and fall vibes at our Surrogacy Autumn Picnic Meetup!

🍂 Earl Bales Park, Toronto
🍂 Sunday, September 27
🍂 1:00–4:00 PM
🍂 Free to attend

This meetup is open to everyone in the surrogacy community - intended parents, surrogates, partners, families, community friends, and those at any stage of their surrogacy journey.

Bring your picnic blankets, snacks, drinks, and whatever makes you comfortable, and come get your community fill. Whether you already know people in the community or you’re hoping to make some new connections, we’d love to have you join us.

Washrooms are available at the park, and the specific meeting location within Earl Bales Park will be shared closer to the event date.

RAIN OR SHINE EVENT. We will share an alternate event location if rain occurs.

This event is free, unsponsored, and open to all in the surrogacy community. Kids and pets are welcome!

We can’t wait to see you there! 🤍

🚨 Public Service Announcement 🚨

Everyone please help me wish the happiest birthday to Alycia @notthebabymamaa ! 🥳🎉

If you’ve ever met her, you know she’s physically incapable of not helping someone. She somehow manages to take care of everyone else before herself, shows up whenever anyone needs her, and has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever known. Honestly… it’s a little excessive 😋

I’m so lucky to call her one of my BFF’s, and today it’s our turn to make her feel celebrated.

So let’s embarrass her just a little-fill the comments with birthday love, your favourite Alycia memory, or just remind her how incredible she is.

Happy Birthday, Alycia! We love you more than you’ll ever know!

When you are navigating a health journey, fertility journey, pregnancy loss, grief, or any season filled with uncertainty, there can be so much happening beneath the surface.

Appointments. Decisions. Waiting. Worry. Hope. Disappointment. Explaining yourself. Protecting other people’s feelings while trying to survive your own.

And eventually, you may reach a point where every little thing feels irritating. You have no patience. You feel disconnected. You want everyone to stop needing things from you.

That does not mean you are ungrateful, uncaring, or becoming someone you do not recognize.

It may mean you are emotionally saturated.

You have been carrying more than people can see. And you are allowed to need quiet. You are allowed to have boundaries. You are allowed to take longer to respond. You are allowed to not be the strong one, the positive one, or the person holding everything together today.

You do not have to keep pouring from an empty place to prove that you care.

#emotionalwellness #healthjourney #fertilityjourney #mentalhealthsupport

The 4th Annual @oasisfsn Fertili’tea party at the @omnikingedward was such a success! Will be cherishing these moments forever!

Can’t wait to see you there in 2027!

#infertility #infertilitysupport #intendedparentsupport #fertilitysupport #fertility

Some days, “What did you do today?” can feel like a loaded question.

When you’re navigating infertility, loss, surrogacy, grief, a cancer diagnosis, chronic illness, another setback, or simply a season of life that feels heavy, getting through the day can take more energy than most people realize.

We live in a world that measures success by productivity, milestones, and accomplishments. But sometimes, success looks different.

Sometimes success is getting out of bed.
Sometimes it’s making it through an appointment.
Sometimes it’s answering a text.
Sometimes it’s feeding yourself.
Sometimes it’s crying when you need to.
Sometimes it’s simply continuing to show up.

If all you did today was your best, that’s enough.

You don’t have to earn rest.
You don’t have to prove your struggle.
You don’t have to accomplish anything more for today to count.

Your best will look different from one day to the next, and that’s okay.

#infertility #healthjourney #grief #loss #surrogacy

Only 2 weeks left until Fertili’TEA 🎟✨

Join us for an unforgettable afternoon at the King Edward Hotel in support of Oasis Fertility Support Network and the infertility community.

☕ High tea
🍹 Mocktails
🎻 Live violinist
📸 Photobooth
🎁 Swag
🤍 Community connection

Whether you’re navigating infertility yourself, supporting someone who is, or simply want to support an incredible cause — this event is truly special.

📍 King Edward Hotel — Toronto, Ontario
🗓 Sunday, June 7th
⏰ 1PM–4PM

Grab your tickets before they’re gone!
🔗 Link available in our bios!

#infertility #infertilitysupport #fertility #fertilitysupport #

This month to spread awareness is quickly coming to a close.
But for a lot of us, this isn’t something that fits into a month.

It’s appointments. Waiting. Loss. Decisions.
It’s things people don’t see.

So instead of just “raising awareness,”
I want to ask:

What do you wish people knew about your journey-
without you having to say a word?

#infertility #surrogacy #infertilityawareness

THE COUNTDOWN IS OFFICIALLY ON, ONLY ONE WEEK LEFT UNTIL THE BEST DANCE PARTY OF THE YEAR

NIGHT 1 in Toronto is almost here
And trust me… this isn’t just a night out. It’s something so much bigger.

This night is about community. About connection. About letting go for a few hours and just being together, on the dance floor, surrounded by people who truly get it.

Bring your best friend, your partner, your people… or come solo and leave with a whole new circle
Because there is a place for you here.

Huge love to @day1fertility and @fertilityfriendsfoundation for creating something so meaningful and fun!

Thursday, April 16, 2026
The Great Hall, Toronto
Link in bio

Get ready to leave it all on the dance floor!

#fertilityfriendsfoundation #night1

It’s our transferaversary!!!

What we did one year ago today, changed life forever.

We transferred one beautiful embryo that would become our little West 🧡

#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #surrogate #surrogacysupport

It’s time! The Spring 2026 Grant Application Cycle opens Wednesday, April 1 at 12 PM (ET).

Fertility treatment can be life-changing but for many Canadians, the cost puts it out of reach. Fertility Friends Foundation provides grants of up to $5,000 to help individuals and couples move forward on their path to building a family.

This year, they’re going even further. In response to a critical need in our community, they’ve launched the PGT-M Access Fund. For families carrying serious genetic conditions, PGT-M (Preimplantation Genetic Testing for Monogenic disorders) offers the possibility to break the cycle of inherited disease. This new fund is designed to make that option more accessible to those who need it most.

FFF grants can support individuals pursuing IVF, including donor conception, or surrogacy journeys, helping ease the financial burden at a pivotal moment.
They also partner with select clinics through their IVF Cycle Program, where additional clinical services may be offered alongside the grants, expanding support and increasing access to care.

✨ Applications are open from April 1 at 12 PM (ET) to April 30

🔗 Learn more: www.fertilityfriendsfoundation.com

#FertilityGrants #FFFSpringGrantApplications #FertilitySupport #PGTM #BuildingFamilies YouAreNotAlone

March is Surrogacy Awareness Month.

And it matters, because surrogacy can still be so misunderstood and taboo.

Surrogacy is a valid, real, and meaningful way to build a family.
But it’s also not simple.

For so many of us, surrogacy isn’t a “choice” in the way people think - it’s the path we turn to after everything else has shifted.

For me, this wasn’t the path I imagined.
Cancer, infertility- they took away my ability to carry.
It changed my body, my plans, and the version of motherhood I thought I would have.

I never thought this would be part of my story.

But surrogacy became part of my story.
And it gave me more than I ever expected.

It made me a mother.
It gave me my children.
It gave me moments I didn’t know if I would ever get to experience.

It gave me connection-real, meaningful, lifelong connection.
It brought people into my life who will always be part of my story.
Relationships and bonds that will last a lifetime.

But surrogacy isn’t always easy.
It’s not guaranteed.
Things don’t always go the way you hope or plan.

But it is a valid, real, and beautiful way to build a family.

And that’s why awareness matters.

Because more people deserve to know that even when everything changes…
there are still paths forward.

#surrogacy #intendedparents #surrogate #infertility #cancer

When the diaper situation escalates… baby goes back to their parents. 😂

One of the biggest myths about surrogacy is that surrogates will want to keep the baby they carry. The reality? Surrogates enter this journey with clear intention: to help build someone else’s family.

From the very beginning through screening, education, and psychosocial assessments, everyone talks openly about roles, expectations, and boundaries. Surrogates aren’t confused about whose baby it is.

They carry the baby.
They celebrate the journey.
They hand the baby back to the family the always belonged to.

And if there’s a poop explosion… they definitely hand the baby back. 💩

The beautiful part? Many surrogates and IPs stay connected, enjoying cuddles, milestones, and watching the little humans they helped bring into the world grow up. Surrogates don’t want to keep the baby - they want to help grow the family.

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #intendedparents #surrogate #surrogacy

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month.

Endometriosis affects 1 in 10 people with a uterus, yet many spend years being dismissed, misdiagnosed, or told their pain is “normal.”

For many in the infertility and reproductive health community, endometriosis is part of the story, often long before a diagnosis is ever given.

Years of pain.
Years of being told it’s just “bad periods.”
Years of searching for answers.

Endometriosis is not just a physical condition. It can mean chronic pain, infertility, fatigue, inflammation, surgeries, and navigating a medical system that doesn’t always listen. And with that often comes a significant mental and emotional toll, grief, frustration, isolation, anxiety, and the exhaustion of constantly advocating for your own body.

Awareness isn’t just about sharing statistics. It’s about believing people when they say they’re in pain, recognizing the emotional weight that often comes with this disease, and continuing to advocate for earlier diagnosis, better research, and more compassionate care.

If you’re living with endometriosis, your experience is real, valid, and you deserve support in every part of this journey.

#EndometriosisAwarenessMonth #Endometriosis #InfertilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #ReproductiveMentalHealth

Honoured to share that I’ve been named a 2026 Ambassador for @fertilityfriendsfoundation along with a few other amazing advocates for this community!

As a Registered Social Worker, psychotherapist, and surrogacy specialist, I sit with individuals and families every day who are navigating infertility, loss, complex medical decisions, and the emotional weight of building a family outside of the “expected” path. I also know this journey personally as someone who is infertile and eventually needed to pursue surrogacy as an intended parent. And one thing is clear: access matters.

The cost of fertility treatment and surrogacy is not just financial, it’s emotional, relational, and often deeply isolating. Too many people are forced to delay, pause, or give up because of barriers that shouldn’t exist.

Fertility Friends Foundation is actively changing that. Their grants and advocacy work create real opportunity for families who might otherwise not have one.

Stepping into this Ambassador role isn’t just a title - it’s an extension of the work I already do and the community I’m committed to protecting and uplifting. I’m ready to advocate louder, educate wider, and help more families access the support they deserve.

#fertility #fertilityjourney #infertility #infertilityawareness #surrogacy

‘Twas a long journey, but nonetheless a great one🧡

Surrogacy is love.

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #infertilitysupport #intendedparentsupport #surrogate

So excited to introduce a new monthly virtual support space for parents after surrogacy, in partnership with Oasis Fertility Support Network 🤍

These ALWAYS FREE support groups are for those who have already welcomed their children through surrogacy and are seeking community, connection, and a space to process life on the other side, all within a supportive, non-judgemental environment.

Babies and little ones are welcome, as this group is designed to be accessible and inclusive for everyone attending.

When: Every second Monday of the month

7:30–8:15 PM EST — Motherhood After Surrogacy
A dedicated space for mothers who became parents through surrogacy to explore identity, emotions, and the aspects of motherhood that often go unspoken once the baby is here. This is a space to reflect, normalize experiences, and feel less alone.

8:15–9:00 PM EST — Parenthood After Surrogacy
An open and inclusive space for all parents via surrogacy, individuals, couples, and co-parents, to connect and share experiences. This is a space to reflect, normalize experiences, and feel less alone.

Your journey doesn’t end at birth , and neither do the feelings, questions, or need for support. This group exists to hold space for all of that, gently, honestly, and without pressure.

Register with the link in our bios!

#infertility #surrogacy #intendedparentsupport #postpartum #intendedparentsupport

It was a quick trip, but such a good one. We spent every second of these 48 hours together, chatting, eating, cuddling West, talking about life… and, of course, making some very last-minute tattoo decisions.

It was so beautiful to see Alycia reunite with West, and yes, I cried 😋 still can’t believe that he was in her belly just about a month ago and cared for him as if he were hers for 9 months! I can’t wait to see the bond they develop as West grows up🧡

Ok now the main question.. What possessed us to get 8 tattoos collectively 1 month post-partum? Throughout our journey, Alycia and I kept finding ginkgo leaves in the most unexpected ways, often right before important news or big milestones. They became a symbol of the journey itself: the ups, the downs, and that quiet feeling that something was always conspiring to send us a little sign from the universe. So we knew we wanted to honour that. We each got a ginkgo leaf tattoo, a reminder that we’ll always carry a piece of each other with us.

All three of us also got matching heart freckles just for fun. And we each added one more tattoo: I got a version of my Defining Journeys arch rainbow with four lines honouring my four boys (three of whom Alycia carried), Alycia got a milk carton to honour her pumping journey, and Melyse got a stick family that includes each of her little ones and entire family unit. 🧡

In between all of that, we ate very well at @electricpiggy_viahe and got totally pampered at @mayblossomcentreca with @jennleo3. We didn’t get pics of everything which usually happens because we were having too much fun and forgot. BUT what we did get was good, and it’s safe to say @vibewithmelyse was the content director for this trip 😋

Surrogacy has a way of reuniting families.

One brother meeting his sibling first on the inside…
then again on the outside.

These babies were always meant to be with their family.
Surrogates do the extraordinary work of carrying and caring for them for nine months, so they can be returned to the parents and families they already belong to.

And no- surrogates don’t want to keep the babies.
They don’t form a parental bond, because they aren’t the parent.

They’re doing something intentional and deeply human.

This is what surrogacy really looks like when done ethically and for the right. Love between surrogates, intended parents and their families.

Love, trust, and families finding their way back to each other.

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #surrogate

As 2025 wraps up, you’ll see a lot of posts about achievements and happy news.

But in case you need to hear this:
It’s okay if the only thing you did this year was survive.

Sometimes, simply surviving is the greatest achievement of them all.
Sometimes, just pushing through the heavy, dark days is the achievement.

You are loved.
You are needed.
You are valued.

And you don’t need to accomplish anything fancy to be on track.
Let’s also remember social media can be a highlight reel,
what you see isn’t always the full story.

#2026 #newyear #newyearsameme #support

After a long wait, Marisa got a baby and Alycia got wine!

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #surrogate

On December 17, 2025, our hearts grew.

Welcome to the world, sweet West.

West, in honour of Alycia, his loving and incredible surrogate. It’s part of her maiden name… and Alycio just didn’t quite have the same ring 😋

His arrival was a whirlwind unexpected in the very best way. We were meant to be going in for an induction the next morning, with Dom heading down first thing. Instead, West had other plans.

During it all, Tyler was the most supportive, steady presence. He and Alycia made the best team.

Alycia was nothing short of
phenomenal, making sure I was being considered every step of the way, even while in pain herself. She’s now home recovering, and we are endlessly grateful and bonded for life. This whole journey was just magical and unreal, something we will never forget or take for granted.

Dom wasn’t able to be there for the birth as he was home with DJ, but he arrived shortly after and made up for it with plenty of cuddles, a moment we’ll never forget.

Everyone is healthy.
And West… you are already the sweetest soul.
So loved. So wanted.

Full birth story coming soon 🤍
So much gratitude. So much teamwork. So much love packed into one unexpected day.

#surrogacyislove #surrogacy #surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #surrogate #infertility #fertility #birth

It’s go time!

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #surrogate #infertility #intendedparentsupport #fertility

Surrogacy is love.

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #infertility #infertilitysupport #intendedparentsupport #surrogate

If you’re seeing this…

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #infertility #intendedparentsupport #surrogate #fertility

Wanted to soak up the holiday togetherness and capture a few memories to show this little bub what we were up to while waiting for his arrival.

Somehow… it turned into full-blown 90’s awkward Christmas photos 😂

Way to pass the time!

#surrogacy #surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #intendedparentsupport #surrogate #38weeks #38weekspregnant

You’re allowed to protect your energy this season, especially if certain traditions and gatherings feel heavier than usual.

It’s okay to skip the moments that don’t feel good, you don’t have to show up for anything that drains you.

Skipping something doesn’t mean you’re falling behind or doing it “wrong.”

It simply means you’re taking care of yourself.
This year, let yourself set the pace.

#infertilitysupport #surrogacysupport #healthjourney

UPDATE IS…

there is no update yet!

We’re still over here on baby watch - taking walks, relaxing, eating yummy things and getting the fur children acquainted.

Give us your movie suggestions below to pass the time!

#surrogacy #intendedparents #surrogate #laboranddelivery

When the journey feels overwhelming, come back to the smallest unit you can manage: the moment you’re in.
You don’t need to have it all figured out, and you don’t need to think too far ahead.

Give yourself permission to stay right here, in today.
Take today’s wins, feel today’s losses, and let them be what they are.
Tomorrow is another day, and you don’t need to carry it all at once.

Be gentle with yourself.
One day at a time.
One step at a time.
One moment at a time.

Thank you all so much for your kindness and patience,
I wanted to share a gentle update about my availability.

Our family is growing via surrogacy, and because of this I will be on a pause for a bit and responding to emails slower than usual.

If you’re a new client or reaching out for support, please feel free to email me anytime — I’ll reply as soon as I’m able.

Current clients who have time-sensitive needs can include “URGENT” in the subject line so I can prioritize your message.

I also want to acknowledge that in the fertility and infertility community, family-building announcements can bring up a complex mix of emotions. If this lands tender or heavy for you, please know I see that and hold it with care. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel, and none of this is easy.

Thank you for your compassion during this chapter.

Road trip to New York for the @worldfertilityawards 🤍

And of course… when you’re in New York, you can’t skip a little shopping and a Broadway show.

The @worldfertilityawards isn’t just about the glam, it’s about coming together for a cause.
It’s about inclusion, awareness, community, and the friends who make this space feel a little less heavy and a lot more connected.

#surrogacysupport #surrogacyjourney #intendedparents #infertility #infertilitysupport #fertilitysupport #fertility

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DEFININg
JOURNEYs

the support you deserve

MEET THE FOUNDER OF DEFINING JOURNEYS

Follow us on Instagram @DEFININGJOURNEYS

TRUSTED PARTNERS

hello@definingjourneys.com

DEFININg JOURNEYs

the support you deserve

MEET THE FOUNDER OF DEFINING JOURNEYS

​

Follow us on Instagram @DEFININGJOURNEYS

TRUSTED PARTNERS

hello@definingjourneys.com

DEFININg
JOURNEYs